Easily Excitable

I’ve never really had any aspirations to be a mom.

That wasn’t on my radar growing up. 

See, we didn’t play house in the Meadows family: instead, we watched for windy days on the weather channel, and if the wind got to 20 mph or above, we’d put on capes, go outside, and jump off our swing set. 

You know- just to see if maybe we could carry on the wind (read: fly) a bit. 

My childhood desires were to be President (and simultaneously own a gun shop) and, later, to become a veterinarian. 

I also wanted to be a citizen of Middle Earth, what with my fascination with Lord of the Rings. 

So, put an American flag, a puppy, or even the ring of power in my hands, and I would have been fine. 

I like to think I could have been semi-prepared for that. 

Instead, a few years ago, an infant boy- my newborn nephew- was placed into my arms, and thus began a long road of learning how to be an aunt that’s actually worth something. 

And I like to think I was TOTALLY unprepared for that.

Zayden’s birthday was Wednesday, 

so I’ve been a little more contemplative than normal the past view days. I’ve been looking through old pictures, recounting old stories, thinking and laughing a lot about the years we’ve had with him.

Naturally, I have to write about it, so, thank you in advance for indulging me. 

Though, I should warn you of this: 

Normally, I like to have some main idea or consistent theme in my writing. But with this one, I don’t know that there is a specific throughline “point,” per say. 

I think of this writing as a little more like a scrapbook, if you will- more of a collection of snapshots of our boy. 

Some ages have been harder than others, but I like to think Zayden is in the ‘sweet spot’ age right now.

He…

Is there anything this man can’t do?!

We’ve come a long way from the drool-y, sometimes fussy little Zayden of a few years back. He’s really stretched out- the rolls he had at sixteen months are nowhere to be found. 

He might just pass us in height by the end of elementary school. 

When I hear my friends express a little sadness about their kids growing up, I try to pop in with a little optimism: 

I tell them that I think this is the best age Zayden’s ever been. 

But at the same time, too, I get it: his getting older is a little sad, too. 

A teenage Zayden? What?! Who can even imagine? 

I’m excited for him to get older, but at the same time, I’ll mourn the day he won’t want me to hug all over him and will actually be big and fast enough to evade those hugs

I’m just a little biased, but I like to think our little (quickly-getting-bigger) guy is pretty great. 

Zayden has a quick sense of snark, quips that sound like they come from a ninety year old, and trash talk that tickles me to no end. 

He loves nothing more than poking fun at Pippa, Poppy, Uncle Trey, and me. We’re his most available targets.  

In fact, his highlight of the Meadows family reunion might just have been when I missed three- THREE- very easy shots in the annual badminton game. 

Zayden also may have made a comment to someone that gnats love her so much because they like to hide in her wrinkles. 

Yikes. 

Our little guy is a conversationalist, and he’s known for making old man-isms, such as, 

He asks me about losing Meadows in the Wilderness, and in turn, tells other people that someone took my site.

 He was apparently a lot more invested than I thought he was. 

A while back, when Trey asked him about his plans for the weekend, he rattled off a few events and concluded with, “You know…just Zayden things.” 

Zayden also considers himself a fount of wisdom for his younger cousins. 

My twin niece and nephew, Bea Dell and Joe Joe, were asking questions about my sister-in-law, Hanna, teaching them. 

The elder of the tribe, Zayden, calmly said, “It’s like if I was in Aunt Emmie’s class. *looks at me*— You teach ninth and eleventh, right?– Well, she would be harder on me because I’m her child.”

Well…he’s not wrong.

Despite all the mature commentary he can give, Zayden is still very, very young.

He can lack common sense and has a squeal that’ll put your hair on edge.

He sleeps under five blankets every night and, as a result, wakes up soaked in (and smelling like!) sweat. 

Zayden’s feet tend to be smelly, and he loves to snuggle and get right up under you. 

His love language is so obviously that of physical touch, it’s uncanny. 

He knows that I need Zayden hugs in the afternoon because, as he now knows, I spend all day with “stinky high school kids.” 

Speaking of school, one of my favorite things Zayden does is share his Google Docs with me on Fridays. 

Every once in a while, he’ll send me a writing he’s working on. I don’t know how this boy found my email address, but it always makes my day. 

Plus, because the English teacher in me wants his best, I also tell him where to sprinkle in some commas here and there. 

I went back through my email and found Zayden’s papers he’s shared with me over the past year. I copied and pasted some of my favorite lines. 

That’s right- these are direct quotes! Enjoy! 

“I hate don`t like how you smell”

“I like Minecraft and you can’t say anything about it. fromZayden to ant Emmie”

“I don’t like bananas!!!!!!!”

“They love Taylor Swift more than Taylor Swift.”

“He is the muscle of the group. He is also the shortest in the group but he is very kind and stands up for us when we are in trouble.”

“YAY minecraft is working uncle Trey did his magic.  (one type of minecraft)”

‘The Dursleys are outraged.”

“Aunt Emmie I miss you while you are at school.  I hope you are having the best time ever.  I love you.”

Needless to say, that last one made me a little misty-eyed. 

The stories wherein he plays a part (or is the main star altogether) are many. 

Those stories also happen to be his favorites.

There are a lot of them, such as the time he became den-mother to a covey of quail, and swore he had it in him to kill them with a knife. 

(Later, when he did have to shoot them, he was sad about it.)

There is also the time Momma, Daddy, Zayden, and I were headed down to the beach and left a night early. 

He and I shared a bed at the hotel (naturally) and he slept with his feet on me all night. As I was laying down, preparing to go to sleep, he sat upright and played in my ear. 

Was literally picking in my ears, folks. 

There was yet another time Momma called me up at softball practice, and I could hear Zayden wailing in the background.

Zayden’d tested positive for covid. 

I felt bad for him, so I asked, “Buddy, can I bring you anything? What would make you feel better?”

“Uh…uh…Kind-uh-joy and uh Icee”

Read: “A…a…Kinderjoy and a Icee.” (yes, I know it should be an, but for the sake of the story…)

See, this was the stint of his speech impediment. Now, he’s grown out of it and into his ‘r’ pronunciation. 

But what a move that a Kinderjoy and a slushie could right his ailments. 

He really milked that, huh?

We’re working on Zayden’s audio tastes, too. 

When he rides home from school with me in the afternoon, he’ll ask, “What kind of day is it?” Translation: will we listen to music or a podcast on the way home? 

In my car, he’ll normally opt for music- specifically, Taylor Swift. 

He’s a fan of “Cruel Summer,” but I’ve been trying to throw in some Cranberries, as well as a little Blink-182 and 3 Doors Down. 

It’s called culture! Learn about it! 

He talks podcasts with Momma and me, specifically the ones we keep on rotation with him in the car. 

The most common one you’ll hear him talk about is The Big Boo Cast or, as he calls it, Big Boo.

It’s basically two fifty year old women talking about everything under the sun and amusing themselves to no end. 

Poor guy: being raised by this village, he has no shot at being normal. 

Trey still finds it amusing that it never occurred to me that I was ‘quirky’ 

…at least until that word was used repeatedly to describe yours truly at our rehearsal dinner.

Heck, I grew up thinking everyone was a little weird. 

Let the record state, I still think that.

I just think I never got the memo that you’re supposed to keep your crazy to yourself!

So, I think it’s safe to say that Zayden is and will always be a little quirky- a little out there, if you will. 

But I have to say that one of the most fantastic things about his personality- something I love the most- is that I see a little bit of all of us. It’s just our traits with a little Zayden flair.

I see Momma’s creativity, Daddy’s love for physical touch, Walker’s analytical mind, Hanna’s kindness and patience with kids, Trey’s wonder and attention to detail, and (sadly) my accent. 

But I also get to see a lot of Caroline in him, too. 

Zayden is stubborn just like his momma, and he’s got a mind for math. He’s got her softer side, and he’s goofy just like her, too.

And I’ve said it before, but it’s worth reminding myself of this: 

God gave us a little piece of Caroline to keep on this earth. 

He gave us a little boy and a long memory, and that memory will let us pass along little pieces of Caroline to her son.

What’s more, in the same way I used to annoy my sister, I now get to annoy her son, too. 

That is a privilege. 

In a way, Zayden and I really did grow up together. 

I was a really cool (sarcasm) twenty-two year old who lived at home post-college, and he was a really fussy two year old with whom I butted heads terribly. 

I’ve knocked his head on doors, dropped him a few times, given him too many snacks, spanked him when I was sure Momma wasn’t looking, and spilled coffee on him twice.

(And these are just the errors I can think of off the top of my head.)

We’ve seen some things- lived some life- together. 

Here’s to our little man. 

I thank our gracious God in for giving us a perfect fit to our imperfect family and for making this precious boy we love more than we knew possible. 

The first grandchild for my parents, the first nephew for my brother and me, and the only son of a sister I miss. 

God is so good to us, and Zayden is the walking, very loud, sometimes obnoxious proof of that. 

I wonder where he gets the ‘obnoxious’ from?! 

Thanks so much for reading! Share, subscribe, or shout it from the mountaintops- however the Spirit leads you!