Easily Excitable

If you’ve read my writings for any length of time, chances are you’ve noticed a few revolving themes in my writings. There are just some things I write about often. 

Which makes sense, really: I think we write best (as best I can- I won’t call this good writing necessarily) what we know best. 

That being said, this writing will cover things that I often write about, but specific to this post is the framework, I guess? 

Sounds so pretentious. I apologize. 

I turn 30 soon, and as I’ve been thinking about my twenties, and what they looked like, I have to say I’ve found myself being so grateful to have had thirty years so far.

Getting older is a privilege, loving life is a privilege, being healthy is a privilege. 

I am grateful for what my life looks like right now. My twenty-year-old self couldn’t have fathomed it, but what joy I get out of every day. 

There is so much to be happy about, and to be excited for, and sometimes, I absolutely do go overboard with that.

I mean, come on: I get excited for the Kroger sales paper to come out on Wednesdays. 

SOMEONE SEDATE ME!

That’s a little much. I know. 

But I don’t take for granted where I am, because I have made some very, very stupid decisions. And there have been some very close calls and very near-misses where my life could look a lot differently right now. 

I believe God protects us all, but I think He had to do a little overtime with me. After all, I approached every bad decision as enthusiastically as I approached every good decision. 

I’m like a puppy, but a lot less cute. I can fetch a ball, but with that same tenacity, I’ll also chew up your couch.  

All that being said

There are some people and some things that have impacted me and influenced me in this last decade specifically. Again, this will not be a surprising list, and you’ve seen me write about many of these different areas repeatedly. 

So, please, do not feel obligated to read this writing. I will take no offense. 

In some ways, this is a thank you to these people and those things, and it’s also a way for me to hopefully look back one day and see what was going though my mind on the edge of thirtyyy (Stevie Nicks’ voice).

That, of course, is assuming this website doesn’t get stolen. 

(If you know, you know.)

Here are those high-impact people and things:

Working out

How underwhelming this first option probably seems. 

High school was full of sports. College was full of cardio like dancing and running towards poor decisions. 

When I graduated, I figured I needed to start working out. My sister-in-law, Hanna (the Meadows family’s matron saint), probably doesn’t even understand the catalyst she was for getting this whole shebang started. 

We all took Zayden to the zoo one weekend, and she gave me her Fitbit, as she had gotten an Apple watch. 

Now, something I knew about myself was that I loved competition. What I did not realize was that my favorite person to compete against was myself. 

If you know me in any capacity, you know that I talk an inordinate amount about my steps. I got fired up about this eight years ago, and I still won’t let it go. 

In all seriousness, working out was the first difficult decision I really made for myself. There wasn’t anyone pushing me to go to the gym: it required me to hold myself accountable. 

When I graduated college, I wasn’t happy with how I looked or, mainly, how I felt. 

I wasn’t healthy. 

My face looked kind of bloated, and I had some other things going on that I really don’t want to disclose before the assembly. 

I would do a disservice if I also didn’t tell you that I was losing my hair a little bit too. 

I had a small bald spot that I was trying to cover up. Baby hairs would grow there, but that was about it. 

That’s one topic of conversation my Gran never tires of. 

If no one else noticed, at least she did. 

Thank goodness, right, because that was one of the first things she told Trey when we started dating. 

Thanks Gran. 

 I started losing my hair in college. She frequently tells me it looks so much healthier now, but she also then harks on how UNhealthy it looked back then. 

Accountability. It matters. 

What I can tell you is this: I feel so much better now at 30 (almost) than I ever did at 20. 

Teaching

It’s no shocker that this made this list. And I want to tell you over and over again: 

Bleckley County Schools will always be the best in my mind. 

We have incredible leadership, the best teachers, and great kids. And I want every teacher to feel this way about her individual school system. I long for that to be the case. 

This career is one of the hardest things I have ever done. I hated my job in my first year of teaching, at the ripe old age of 22. 

Now? I love it. 

You know that these kids have changed my life in a profound way. I don’t have to tell you that. I think probably what I love about this job is best shown by a situation this past week. Why wax spiritual and pontificate when an anecdote will do the same thing? 

This past week, some of our high school athletes went to the elementary school to greet the kids. Two of our senior football players I’ve taught went and searched Zayden out to get a picture with him. 

Nothing made Zayden’s day more than that. He was so excited to talk about it, and his grin in that picture said it all. 

I loved these two young men when I taught them, and they sought out my first baby to go love on him. It’s a circle of influence, and those two guys will never know what that act means to me, and what they mean to me. 

Teenagers are impulsive. Teenagers are hormonal. Teenagers must be taught to wear deodorant. 

But teenagers can also be pretty great. It is a joy to walk with these kids and watch them grow across four years. It’s hard to have them in class sometimes, but it’s always a little difficult to see them go, too. 

Becoming an Aunt

I’m a proud aunt to seven children. 

Four of those are from the Meadows crew; three of them, I was blessed to gain by marriage. After nine years of being an aunt (going on ten!), I can tell you that there is something special about getting all the fun and kisses and very little of the responsibility. 

Kidding, kidding! (But, seriously…)

What can I say? I’m very good at getting them all revved up so their parents have to bring them back down to earth. 

The day Zayden was born, I was in the room. I watched the birthing process (if you were wondering why we don’t have kids, I give you Exhibit A).

And I had no clue how my life would change when they handed him over to me. 

He had no idea all the pain I would bring him from all the times I dropped him, hit his head on doors, got too rough when playing, etc.

By the time the other nieces and nephews came along, I was a little gentler. And Momma would keep an eagle eye on me when I played with them, too. 

It was both helpful and well-deserved. 

It’s hard to quantify or put into words how much I love the seven, and it’s even harder to put a finger on how exactly they’ve changed me, too. But I do know that helping out with little ones and being responsible for them does mature you. 

And it makes you grateful that you aren’t the one in charge of bedtime, too. 

My Friends

I’m lucky to have friends. (I mean, could I be anymore DUH right now?!)

I believe that being in community with the people you love and who love on you is important: when we are with good people, it makes us better. 

But, I have to say, there is something about old friends. 

I’m grateful for my circle of gals who I went through high school and/or college with. We have a core group, and there is something to be said for getting older with a group of people who can appreciate where you were and where you are now. 

I think that can be said for all of us. 

A couple of days ago, Hayle sent some pictures of the crew from our time in college. 

What a wonder that we survived all the food from Golden Pantry we devoured in Milledgeville (chicken biscuit with macaroni on top, anyone??). 

And what a wonder that now we (I) get excited about having organic produce shipped to my house. 

There are some things that only old friends can fully appreciate. 

Good friends make the bad times not as scary, and they make the best times even brighter. 

To have a group that mourns with one another, celebrates each other, and prays for each woman in the group is a gift. 

What a gift to have shared memories with people you love. These are the people who walk you through life- who drag you along when things get hard. 

To the Group- what a gift you all are to me. Good friendships that go the distance are a gift from God, and I hope I never overlook that. 

Family

I never realized when I was younger that not everyone is close with her family. After all, family is hard. There are bumps and sticky situations that could shake everything up and break everything apart. 

But, how telling it is that I never knew that growing up. 

I grew up with a big family on both sides. I was never short of playmates. Whether it was making tree forts with the Mullis side or playing crack-the-egg on the trampoline with the Meadows crew. 

I grew up being loved on by a lot of people. 

So, as a child, you appreciate the play side of things. 

But in the past ten years, I have come to a new appreciation of our crew. There is something special about having a family that prioritizes getting together, that tells the same jokes over and over again, that cooks the most beloved dishes year after year. 

There is little in life that is as important as family, be it the family we are born into, the family we marry into, or the family we choose. 

Again, as with friends, family makes the darkest situations not so scary. They pick you up and carry you when you simply cannot muster the strength to keep going. 

What’s more, I have come to appreciate more deeply the women in my family. The strength and will of my mother, grandmothers, aunts, cousins, and sisters is an inspiration to me. 

They are the backbone of both sides of the family, and they are role models for me. 

I’ve appreciated that more the past few years.  

Trey Kotara

I’m crazy about the guy. In the spirit of not getting too ‘mushy’ right here, I will give you another anecdote. 

Last year, we got a Christmas tree. Only, we live in a singlewide, so it was really more of a Christmas bush- 2.5 feet tall, just as cute as it could be. Charlie (sp?) Brown would have been green with jealousy. 

Trey and Zayden decorated the tree together, decked it out with lights, put it up on a peach box- the whole nine yards. 

Well, a couple days later, I realized we didn’t cut off the bottom of said tree; it couldn’t slurp up any water. 

Trey was working late that night, and I got impatient, so I took the tree, ornaments, lights, and all, unscrewed the bottom, and sawed off the tip of the tree. 

Do I even need to say that it was a disaster? 

Water, pine needles, and ornaments went everywhere. 

When Trey got home, I told him what I’d done. And this good man didn’t even get upset, despite the fact that I’d half-wrecked all of his efforts because of my own impatience.

Needless to say, we had a crooked tree for the rest of the season as a reminder of my sin. 

Let that tell you everything you need to know about the kindness and patience Trey shows toward me. 

Trey is a man who knows the right thing to do, and he does the right thing. He plays with all the kids at the family beach every year. 

He looks for opportunities where he can help. 

He’s a great human being and an incredible husband, and he is everything I would have prayed for if I would have known exactly what I wanted and needed. 

Trey is gracious and loving with a very strong-willed woman, and I’m a better woman because of him. 

I could go on and on, but I’d hate to embarrass him. 

God

Okay, again, duh. I know. 

When I was 21, I got serious about my faith, and I’ve tried to put myself as close to Jesus as I can. 

And I have really messed up a lot. 

But I’m thankful for the One who’s sat with me in the wreckage of both my own brokenness and the brokenness of life in general. 

He continually uses me, despite the chaotic disaster that I truly am, and that is proof of His diving patience, strength, and love. 

I’m passionate about knowing the Bible, and learning, and studying it because the fact that God Himself would, through His Word, have something to say to me is beyond me.

It’s unfathomable, but the sheer satisfaction and joy that He’s brought me through it is all the proof that I need that His Word is important to study and to apply. 

God, I thank You for this life You’ve given me. I’m grateful that You don’t just put up with, but rather, use my quirks and oddities for Your work. 

I’m grateful for the church family you’ve given me.

I’m grateful you invited me in. 

I’m so grateful for these 30 years you’ve given me. 

If you made it this far, thank you. God has been so gracious to me.