Easily Excitable

A few months ago, I had a bout of insomnia that just about did me in (or it felt that serious, at least). Weeks of this lead to something I’d never really struggled with in the past:

Anxiety.

Lovely.

During this time, I was flipping through my Bible, trying to find something to read before I went to bed. I needed something- was ready to try anything!- to get me to sleep.

But specifically, I needed something that would calm my head too- it’d got into this really cool habit of thinking up the WORST possible scenarios and turning them into a cinematic experience.

That’s when I found Psalm 112. The whole thing spoke to me, but here are a couple of lines that really stood out:

Psalm 112:6-8

Surely the righteous will never be shaken;

    they will be remembered forever.

They will have no fear of bad news;

    their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.

Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear;

    in the end they will look in triumph on their foes.

The year, I want to be More steadfast.

Honestly, I’d never given it much thought until I read these verses. 

It’s one of those words we kind of just know without really knowing how we know it, but if we were asked to give a definition, we might have to chew on that question for a second. 

For me personally? Here’s what I’d say it means to be steadfast: 

It means dependability and loyalty. 

It’s being even-keeled and steady-footed.

It stays the same and doesn’t lose its head under pressure of emotions.  

I don’t think there is any more Important, yet overlooked, quality Right now

This is probably one of the biggest changes in my life since I got saved. 

I could be really wishy-washy when I was young: call it a product of an unapologetic people-pleaser. 

I don’t think there’s a more important- or more difficult- quality to instill in your kids: being faithful to what you believe, no matter the situation and no matter your surroundings. 

It’s difficult for me now: it was utterly nonexistent when I was in high school and college, despite my parents’ Herculean effort in teaching me the right path.

I wasn’t a very willing student. 

What I have now that I didn’t have then is faith. 

That is the tree that grows steadfastness. 

What I love about Psalm 112 is that it speaks of security along with steadfastness. 

I think the relationship is this: our personal steadfastness is rooted in our security. 

If we are rooted and grounded on a true foundation, we are equipped to be steadfast. We can hold up and hold on, even when life gets to rocking along a whole lot faster and more violently than we would like. 

We live in a fast-paced world where it’s easy to get in, yet also easy to get kicked out.

It’s not easy to stick to your beliefs, your people, your values if you aren’t grounded in Truth: specifically, the truth that our God loved His Creation so much that He was willing to send His Son to die for us.

I am secure in that kind of love. 

I am secure in Him. 

I am secure both today and tomorrow, no matter what it brings. 

I am secure in the God who knows best. 

I am secure in the hallelujahs and the heartbreaks. 

I am secure in my eternity. 

Therefore? I can be steadfast. 

Security is the source, and the outpouring is steadfastness. 

But I was thinking about this last night: steadfastness is different than stubbornness. 

Because, really, isn’t stubbornness sticking to and sticking around, too? 

Don’t they present similarly? 

I think about this because I can really be stubborn- hard-headed to the extreme.

Sometimes, I can dig my heels in simply because I want to be obstinate or because I feel like I’ll be run over otherwise. 

It might be because I’m set in my ways: I love routine, and I despise change.

Stubbornness can be based on adherence to tradition. It can be rooted in fear. It can spring from flat out Obstinance. 

Stubbornness claws, and steadfastness stands. 

Stubbornness is a clanging gong, and steadfastness is a quiet assurance. 

Stubbornness feels the need to make itself known: steadfastness stands without all the verbal defensiveness. 

I want to build my life on God’s security. I want to be a steadfast woman.

I want to be known for my stick-to-it. 

I want to be steadfast in my marriage: loyal to a fault in good times and back, predictable in my reactions, strong when it’s easier to fold and be the smaller person. 

I want to be steadfast in my job: consistent to work the hardest, fair to my students, willing to love them, and wise enough to discern when that love needs to look like tough love. 

I want to be steadfast as an aunt: faithful to my word, willing to get down on the floor to play with the kiddos, and generous with my time and money. 

I want to be steadfast in how I see the world and the folks in it: gracious with everyone I come into contact with, believing the best and forgiving the worst, and loving with the love Christ has lavished on me. 

I want to be steadfast as a friend: available to listen, faithful to keep a confidence, and supportive as an encourager in the good times and bad.

God, make it so. 

Be my secure foundation. 

Be the Source of all my steadfastness. 

And in all things? 

Make me more like you. 

Psalm 112