Easily Excitable

Well, folks, I’m back. 

After not writing a word online for a solid six(ish?) months, lo, here I am again. 

You may have noticed this website is different. Let me walk you through that. 

A few months ago, I stopped writing for a week.

Which turned into two.

Which turned into a month.

Which quite quickly turned into many months on end without writing.

“I’ll get back to it,” I thought. 

Only, funny story about that:

I didn’t. 

Circa November, I believe, I clicked on a link to my website, only to discover the links didn’t work. Try as I might, there was no getting through it. 

The long and short of it is this: my website was hacked and hijacked, (such a fun rhyme for a not-so-fun situation!).

That’s right. Goodbye, emmiemeadows.com.

Now, if you want a nice pair of sneakers or Lucky Brand jeans, please: be my guest, and go to emmiemeadows.com.

It’s your prerogative.

Just know that those Lucky Brand jeans might come with a healthy dose of spam to your computer or phone, should you decide to venture to my old corner of the web.

Now, that’s a lot of work down the drain. 

200ish or more articles and 5 years of work. Sayonara. 

Now, was I a little upset about losing that much work and all that time spent on that work? For sure.

Was I as upset as my mother, who was ready to go all Dog the Bounty Hunter on those hackers? Not in the least.

Ce la vie. 

So, after that happened, I was content to give up the whole writing gig.

To add insult to injury, I messed up big, too.

And here, folks, is where I eat a serving of humble pie. 

The initial dream was to money from writing, so my goal for quite some time was to set up a paid subscribers list. I did that about a year ago. 

I created a feed through Patreon and put up a paywall for my writing. 

It went well for about eight months, and at that point, I got lax. 

I understand some of y’all were $5 subscribers, and I let you down on that end. I thought I was able to write more, and in the end, I just stopped writing. Period. 

And then, to make matters worse, I forgot about the charging page. And so, some of you lost some money when I didn’t hold up my end. And I apologize. 

I don’t much like failing, and I did. So there is that. 

I shut down the Patreon page, so at present, that should be a nonissue. 

Now, if you were a subscriber, and you want that money back, you shoot me a message on here, and I will make a check out with your name on it. I’ll even add in some interest. 

I’ll throw that thing in the mail so fast, it’ll make your head spin.

In all seriousness, please know I do appreciate you trying to support me. And please know I’m sorry for not holding up my end of the bargain. 

I tried and did not succeed, and that was a learning experience for me. 

An embarrassing one, but a lesson nonetheless. 

All that being said, I thought it was time to shut the door on the writing/blogging side of things. 

But as time’s gotten on a bit, I’ve started to rethink that decision: maybe I should keep at it.

After all, I love writing- always have, really- even since the days when I would write my mom notes to tell on Walker and Caroline for harassing me.

(Since, I’m sure you know, it was always one-sided). 

I love to tell stories and write about the unbelievable reality that is teaching. 

I learn as I process things through writing. 

And ultimately, if God passes me a little note throughout the day, I like to jot that down, too. 

So, if I feel these ways about writing, what’s the reason for not doing so?

I think where I’ve landed here is that I was going about it the wrong way.

I can get more than a little prideful, and I think that came into play.

Off and on, I got to a place where I wanted to write things everyone would read. I was to a point where I measured my success by followers, reads, and shares. 

Those things are nice because they feel great, but when you write for those reasons, it shows. Or it did for me. 

And as a result, I got burned out. I got writer’s block. I was a try-hard in the worst way. 

It may not have shown to anyone but me, but personally, that was ALL I could see.

So, that being said, and that vulnerability out of the way, how do I re-route?

In the end, I think it’s got a lot to do with adjusting expectations. 

And here is where I tell a story (claps on syllables for emphasis). 

Trey was asking me about my morning workout the other day.

I told him that it was fine- wasn’t like I was throwing around super heavy weight or really even doing that many sets. 

But I told him I had a little different standard for what constitutes a workout I feel good about. 

For me, a morning workout is now more about waking up- you know, getting ready to face the critters that are ninth graders. 

And I judge the workout’s success on how I feel after it: 

If the answer is yes to any or all of these questions, then really, in my mind, it’s a net positive.

I reckon it’ll be the same for this blog: I’ll have to readjust those expectations. 

As of this current moment, here will be my questions I’ll have to roll about in the back of my mind:

If any or all of those questions are a yes, then- well- I guess we’ll call that a net positive. 

And in the grand scheme of things, losing a website is small potatoes.

Plus, really, Meadows isn’t my last name anymore. 

While coming up with Meadows in the Wilderness might have been my finest hour, we’ll just have to let that one go. 

What’s more, I needed to do website maintenance on that old page because it was getting slow. God knows I’m not much for technology, so rather than see me lose my religion through that, He shut the whole thing down. 

Thanks, God. 

So, folks, if you’re reading this, and you made it through all of that jargon, thank you. I appreciate you. 

And I’ll never try to charge money for this blog.

And please stay away from emmiemeadows.com. Unless you want those Lucky Jeans. 

Happy reading, and have a great week!

Share, scroll down and follow, or scream it from the mountaintops: whatever you choose to do with what you just read, know that I appreciate your time!